Missing you

As I am sure you've noticed I typically don't blog unless I have a strong feeling.
Well as of right now I'm kinda... sad I guess.
I went on my youtube and watched a few videos I took of at the time, my Women's Chorus at the CCPA.
And after spending so much time at UWGB, I forgot how talented we all were at the CCPA.
I find myself getting so frustrated in my voice lessons.
She only likes my voice when I take the vibrato completely out and sing nasal.
It bugs me a lot.
I'm not a musical theater major, and I don't want to be.
I had my musical "Sweet Betsy From Pike".
It went ok.
not my best by anymeans.
I don't think I actually made a mistake, but I just thought I could've been in character better.
I cracked a little on one note, and of course me being a hard ass on myself I want another shot.
But that is impossible.
My family and friends all think I did amazing, but I can't help but want a second chance.
It was the first time I had performed in a musical since high school.
I wish I had more time to do it.
I miss that adrenaline rush.
I want to go into teaching and I will be perfectly happy the rest of my life teaching.
But the selfish part of me wants to perform.
But then I look at everyone at the CCPA and how talented they all are and I know it's a stupid idea, because I can't even compare to any of them, and they told us there that only 10% of that group would make it.
So I will take the unselfish part of myself and teach and be perfectly happy.
Who knows, maybe someday I can do musicals and performing on the side as well.

I'm not completely happy here.

Green Bay doesn't inspire me to be the best musician I can be like Chicago did.

I don't know how to fill this gap.

Dear Chicago,

I miss your noises and smells. I miss living with my best friend, and having my other ones right down the hall.
I miss talking walks down Michigan Avenue, Grant Park, Millennium Park, and by the water to Navy Pier and the Museums. I miss free days. I miss the 9th floor. I miss the amazing professors. I miss my voice lessons. I miss the El running by my window every 5 minutes. I miss the UC. even the food. I miss random snow ball fights. I miss looking out my window at the beautiful skyline. I miss state street. I miss IMEA. I miss being able to graduate in 4 years. I miss being surrounded by talent far beyond mine, forcing me to strive to keep up. I miss living my own life.

I miss you.

Amanda